Three Tips for Deeper Authenticity
How can we achieve greater congruence between our inner and outer lives, and be more honest with ourselves and in our interactions? Counselling intern and writer Andreas Aubert presents three tips for living life with deeper authenticity.
1) Be Completely Honest with Yourself
Ask yourself the question: ”If I put aside all practical limitations —both real and imagined, such as finances, social roles etc.— what do I really want to do with my life?” Be brutally honest with yourself; allow yourself to be ”selfish,” and think big. Write down whatever comes to mind without stopping or censoring yourself. Follow that which feels exciting or challenging. You may notice your heart beating faster and butterflies in your stomach. You may feel some unease, but if you pay closer attention you may notice that you connect with an increased sense of aliveness.
Make a list of the main points and take time to manifest these thoughts and longings. Set aside time (at least once per week) where you work on your deeper authenticity map – a tabloid sized page (about 11 × 17 inches) where you jot down sentences, drawings, and paste clippings from magazines to make a collage that represents everything that is authentic for you. Place it on a wall in your home where you will be reminded of this daily. If you have the time and interest and would like to go into this in more detail, you can also make a similar map for each of the different domains of your life.
Find someone in your life to share these thoughts with. By expressing yourself to another person, it will become clearer to you which aspects of your original vision you truly want to pursue. If you are unsure how to proceed, this might be a good time to speak with a professional about how you can take steps in the direction of making this happen.
2) Go Outside of Your Comfort Zone One Night per Week
Ask yourself the question: ”What do I fear and resist?” Explore this idea. Here, we are talking about activities that will challenge you, NOT about trespassing the boundaries of other people. Perhaps you discover that you want to go to an evening class to learn tango, photography or painting, even if these ideas may be scary to you. Take that impulse seriously and dedicate one evening per week to try a new activity. The point is not whether each thing becomes a new passion for you or not; the purpose is to expand your comfort zone so that the distance between thought and action becomes shorter each time you have the inspiration to try something new. This way, the fear and resistance will gradually lessen, and over time you will get into a dynamic flow where you can easily sense what is right for you in any situation.
3) Make a List of Things That No Longer Nourish You
Write a list of activities, tasks and attitudes in your life which are a burden to you.
Don´t give space to rationalizations around whether or not these things are actually necessary; rather. focus on being honest about your actual experience. Allow yourself to feel frustration, anger, discomfort, bitterness, grudges, and/or self-reproach. View these things as healthy signals that something is amiss for you.
Instead of immediately acting on these feelings, teach yourself that it is healthy to give them more space. If you notice that certain things are extra charged, write a letter to whom it concerns (which you don´t send), or write it as a personal journal entry, where you empty all the emotions that have come up for you.
Go through the list with a good friend or a counsellor. Have a realistic run-through of which activities, tasks and attitudes you want to eliminate from your life; which ones you would like to keep; and which ones you may need to hang on to even if you don´t wish to. Look at how you can perform them in a more nourishing and meaningful way.
By being honest with yourself, stepping outside of your comfort zone and making a list of things that no longer nourish you, you will be able to tap into deeper authenticity and realize your authentic goals and dreams.
Andreas Aubert is here to help you reach your authentic goals and dreams. He is accepting appointments now at Local Health Integrative Clinic for a special rate of just $60/session. Click here to learn more about Andreas.