Speaking in Gibberish for Relationships and Intimacy
By Jandy Anderson
Sometimes we take ourselves way too seriously. Speaking in gibberish is an excellent exercise for dis-engaging from your mind and being more playful and spontaneous. It helps you connect with your innocence. Gibberish means talking in nonsense sounds. It is especially good for those of us who tend to be highly intellectual or who tend to get stuck in our heads. And let’s face it, pretty much all of us tend to get stuck in our heads. Talking in gibberish may sound crazy, but what is truly crazy is making our lives hard by staying divided and in conflict for no good reason.
My partner and I have been exploring speaking in gibberish together and it has been super fun and has helped us feel very close and open-hearted with each other. I thought I should share this and describe the process for those who would like to try it out.
One way to use gibberish is in relationships. I recommend spending time with your friends, partner or loved ones speaking gibberish to each other. You can do this with your eyes open or closed or alternate between the two. It is good to interact with each other’s gibberish sounds as if having a ‘real’ conversation. It is also a good idea to move your body while speaking gibberish. Even just gesturing with your hands is good, but it gets even better if you move your whole body freely.
You can do this for a set amount of time, like 5 or 10 mins or simply continue for the length of time that feels right. You may find that you are having so much fun that you don’t want to stop! If you are struggling with the gibberish, then committing to a set amount of time may help you overcome the initial discomfort. Observe the thoughts and judgements in your head that stop you from letting go into the silliness of gibberish. Speak those thoughts out-loud in gibberish language.
Speaking in gibberish with someone can profoundly shift the energy and help you come out of conflict. It is also a great way to lighten-up the mood and bring playful energy into your time with a friend or loved one. You may find you begin developing your own new words, or connecting to a language that you did not know you could speak through this exercise.
You can also speak gibberish while spending intimate time together with a partner. Spending time naked and speaking in gibberish is a great way to bring innocence and playfulness into your intimate experience with a loved one. It also helps you be more present together and be less in your head. If you are doing this with a sexual partner, let go of any attachment to outcomes like certain sexual experiences or sexual goals. Just allow the spontaneous expression to continue with the gibberish and move your body spontaneously, following all your impulses. You may be very surprised what happens! If the gibberish leads to laughter, let the laughter come. Stay with the laughter for as long as you want and enjoy letting go into the experience with your partner.
I first learnt to speak gibberish in theatre school and later, in my mid 20s was introduced to gibberish as a meditation technique by my teacher Mada Dalian. Her teacher, Osho, had recommended speaking gibberish as an active meditation technique. The way it works as an active meditation is to speak gibberish non-stop for a set amount of time, i.e. 15 mins and then sit in silence for another 15 mins, watching what is happening inside. This active meditation technique works beautifully and I highly recommend it.
Jandy Anderson is a Dalian Method Facilitator and offers appointments at Local Health Integrative Clinic on Saturdays. Click here to book an appointment with Jandy.